2026 .1

five am thoughts got me here again.

the first —

too young

didn’t know better
not careful enough with something that fragile

i broke it
that’s the truth that doesn’t change

not the ending—
but how it ended

sharp
sudden
no way to take it back once it happened

i don’t miss it the same way anymore
but i still flinch at the memory of it

of how easily i ruined something
that deserved a gentler ending

the second —

wrong time
we both knew it

i knew it 
just didn’t say it out loud

three months
nothing solid
but it felt like something that could have been

we were quiet

we enjoyed the peace 

we embraced the little time we had

easy
warm
dangerous in that quiet way

no big ending
no fight

just space growing where something should have been

messages fading
effort thinning
until there was nothing left to hold

and that’s it

no mistake to fix
no one to blame

just timing
just almost

and these are the memories i missed

i hold dear to

that i hoped they deserve a much 

much better ending

it’s all

but

an echo

a what if.