Some days are easy while some gets harder. There are so many times that I wished that I could understand and be understood. I am turning 24, and the world is a platform so vast that I can never and will never be able to fully understand in my entire lifespan. I want to be this person that is capable enough to depend fully on myself and no one else, because there will be various times in life that everyone deserts you due to circumstances, and you are left all alone to fight through it. Humans tend to push blames around, and a rare few actually admits to what they are at fault. No one can be too sure about anything at the end of the day, so who is to say who is right, and who is wrong? And at the end of the day, who really is at fault? Or should we simply say that the existence of humans on Earth already a fault?
I am slowly becoming such a mess and I feel like I am losing myself at some point of time. To balance out life properly with work, social life, family, fun and rest is almost impossible, and I am not allowed to have my own time. I am not exactly sure of what I am doing, and I definitely have zero idea of my future plans – which is a blank piece of paper. I know I am surrounded by people that actually cares, but if so, why do I always feel like I am alone? Who are the ones that will really never leave and who are the ones that will always look out for me, even when I cannot see them?
This eats me up slowly, and I feel like my quarter-life crisis came early.
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