02:27

To be honest, I'm not exactly sure why I still write stuff here. Is it really a platform whereby I can freely express myself or is it because there might be a certain possibility I know that certain individuals do pop by here once in a while to see if I updated anything? Either way, I like writing here, even if no one ever really comes by here at all. After all, it's way easier than writing down in a physical diary, isn't it? Plus the fact that it's very unlikely I'll ever lose any of the stuff I've written here and it's extremely easy for me to access to this little space here. 

Today, I decided that I want to be happy. I want to be happy with a partner by my side. It might be too soon, I'm not sure, but I've decided that I wanted to give it a try this time. My first relationship and what happened to make it end caused me a lot of pain that I made a mistake by using someone to enter into a second relationship. I am sorry for what I did to the people involved that was hurt by me. I could swear that I didn't meant for all of that to happen but it will be pointless because everything that I didn't thought would happen, happened. 

I was really happy back when I was in my first relationship. Probably because I gave in my all and loved my best. My biggest flaw is always overthinking, not understanding, lack of trust and faith in my partner. I'm working on all my flaws to make things work out nicely this time. Wouldn't want to get into another heartbreak now, right? I will try, try to be patient, understanding and most importantly, trust. I will try to give in my all, even if the possibility of me losing myself may happen again, I am confident that I can work things out prevent this from happening. 'Cos after all, I'm no longer that little girl five years back. Time certainly did some fair growth to my mentality in handling relationships. 

I want to be this happy again.

Not to mislead anyone, but I'm only using this photo because I was really happy at that point of time.  I'm no longer hung up on my past because I know things happen in their own crazy ways. I've moved on, forgave and had a good rest. My happiness with this person expired a long time ago and I'm working towards to be this happy again with someone else. We will work things out, won't we?