03:58

I was once at a point of my life whereby I was aimlessly living in this world, not knowing where to go next and what to do next. You could say it was a pretty miserable part of my life

Well and guess what? I guess I am at another point of time now whereby I do not even have a single clue if what I am pursuing currently is what I really want, just doing it to kill time or just doing everything I am doing at the moment because it felt right in the eyes of society. Honestly, juggling work and and studies together at the same time is not easy, those that are in my position should understand my point (except if you are an excellent planner or just really intelligent). It is only a mere four months since I took on this path and almost all the time in school I have a debate with my own mind if what I am doing is the right thing. Too many times I had the thought of quitting school and work altogether but that would just be selfish and irresponsible of me; I am not able to live my life with such guilt within me. 

I guess that being a successful, admirable and respectable person as a employee, friend and daughter has been one of my "core value (I can't find the exact right word)" in life since the beginning of I-am-unable-to-recall. There is not an exact reason of why I chose all the main choices that I had made in my life so far but I think my mind has a idea by itself of what I actually want in my life and I just have not found the key to get the answers I needed from my head. It is pretty much safe to say that right now I am absolutely clueless of my direction in life even when I have a job that I am able to support myself and an education that I do not need to worry about any financial debt (personal reasons) in the future at all. My life right now is honestly just work and school, with some occasional few hours of spending time with my friends and family per week.

This post might not make out much sense but all that I just wanted to bring up here is that I am into another phase of life which I have no flipping clue on the direction that I am leading myself to, and that I realized that I am starting to get immune to certain stuff in my life.

Or maybe, I am just overthinking, again. But I doubt it.