03:13

I've been in a really awful mess over the week.

I shut people out, I throw tantrums at the little things, I lost hope, I lazed around, I took so many things for granted, I had major mood swings, I was too lazy to even jog (I made a promise to myself that I would after I finished intern), I did not get a job, I slept so freaking much, I played games the whole day and I stopped reading. It lasted for a good 3 weeks or so.

Initially after my internship ended, I wanted to only take a break off from everything—studies and work—but I didn't expect myself to get to lost in between of this break. At some point of time, I even wondered if I had depression because I had a number of signs. Maybe it's due to the fact that I have never, ever experienced this part of life. I was foreign to the change and I lost my way. I didn't had a guide light to show me the right path to go and I have no idea how to express how my thoughts and emotions were doing to me to anyone.

I was never this lost. Even the period when I had a long break after I finished my "O" Levels, I was not even lost. I knew at that time, I'll definitely get into a school be it ITE or Polytechnic. Right now... It's different. I never planned or thought about this part of my life. My planning stopped at finishing my diploma and that's it. The rest of it are all blanks.

Taking my studies to another level, a degree, has no doubt been in my mind. But it hasn't been confirm because I am still stuck in between which courses to choose. I don't want to end up studying something that has got nothing to do with my future career. I've wasted 3 years in poly studying something that is not even my passion although I honestly did enjoyed this course and met really awesome people. Getting a degree cost a bomb and I'm already paying for my own poly fees. I want this one to be someone I want, or at least have an interest in. Also, I don't even know what private university is better in terms of certification. I'm extremely new in this area because no one in my family went to uni. So uni people... Uhh, advices? Heh.

Anyways, I guessed I finally walked out of that weird transition of my life? No, I don't have a job yet but yes, I've applied for some. I'm praying hard and crossing my fingers that I get an interview soon. I hate to laze around and do nothing at home. Plus, when I'm bored, I'm tempted to go online shopping. I don't even have a job and yet I wanna shop... Pfft. Honestly hoping so damn much for a call soon else I might go back to that stage of my life whereby I'm awfully lost.

Of course, my boyfriend has been the best! Even with how depressed I am and everyday PMS-ing, he is still so nice?! I don't know what happened to him these few weeks... It's been the longest we've went without a major quarrel which surprised me a lot because we used to quarrel almost every day for the past 2 years. Crazy how it sounds but yeah, it's true. The quarrels just stopped suddenly and I don't know... We just understood each other more suddenly as well? Is it just me or is this how a relationship works? Alright whatevs!

Some visuals?

2 Degree Ice Art

I look so small yet huge?

Grocery shopping with the usual for our Christmas Eve's Steamboat

We ended up only finishing like 1/3 of the food =_=

Best buddies 4eva

That colour difference :'(

My post birthday dinner celebration and also countdown for the New Year!

We had dinz at Morgarnfield's which is located at Star Vista!

Sorry but me and my bff love to take selfies

I didn't rotate this photo so you guys just rotate your laptop/destop/phone or whatever okay? This was taken at my bff's 21st birthday surprise that wasn't exactly surprising. Just look at the Toy Story films!!

Nihon Mura had a new outlet at Yew Tee Point! My favourite sushi place is so near my house! I can have sushi whenever I want now yay!

During my internship - Home Team Academy

Porn's for dinz with the usual
The food was really good but the service was extremely bad by the way.

I built this yurt together with my bosses during my internship!! It's so pretty *_*

Rinascimento 3!
I didn't had a chance to perform together with them due to my internship... Such a pity but it was great watching them!

This year they made things even more creative and gave the audience a light stick each!

With some of my flute juniors! Yes, I am the oldest.

We met our secondary form teacher and we were so shocked because she didn't look like this back then! She totally changed, and for the better! Nice to see her again :)

The favourite people from band

Nobel's 21st!
We are all dressed in black because his theme for the party was 007!

All da band people heh

I went back to RP for a appreciation session for the 13/14 student trainers and the year 2s did this for us!
Awwww :3

With the female trainers!

Meet my great-grandmother. She went through so much in her life and the last time I saw her, she was hospitalized with a swollen black arm and leg. Miraculously, she recovered even when the doctors refused to do anything for her and just say "let her enjoy the rest of her days left". Well, shame shame on you docs. Doesn't mean that a person is old it means you can just refuse to treat him/her! But now her mentality is like a little girl, which pretty much saddens me. Her memory is still good, but she's literally a kid right now... 

Chinese New Year

Back to RP to meet my other course mates!

This is a really bad photo but here's the whole graduating cohord of Diploma in Outdoor & Adventure Learning!
It was really nice to see everyone again :')

I've finally put up visuals on my blog! Are you glad now, my readers? It's no longer boring wordy posts! Maybe next time, I'll put up even older photos. But that is if I have the time to do so!

It's near dawn and it's time I should get to bed, goodnight x


p/s: I wrote everything in a haste and I did not check for my grammars or anything so pardon me for that ;)