03:38

Feelings. 

It screws people up. Like literally. 

Many times I've wondered why exactly we are brought into this place where we live to die. I mean, why can't everything be just, I don't know... Particles, maybe? Like floating around in the air or something. Why must there be living things? 

To experience living? 

To experience feelings?

To experience thoughts?

To experience senses?

To experience weaknesses?

For what exactly? I wish there is an answer for me.

I often tell myself that when things get tough and all else fails, have faith. And whenever I feel lost or confused, heed what my heart feels instead of what my mind tells me. 

However, I think I'm on the verge on giving up that even faith cannot help me on this. I cannot fight on forever knowing it's a losing battle, can I?

****

Lately my mind's been preoccupied with a certain something that no one knows but me and my feelings. I'm currently not attached to anyone, yes you got that right. I hope people stop asking me why when they hear this news because I don't exactly have the perfect answer for you. Yes, I miss having someone to whine to, someone to cuddle with and someone to hang out with but no, I don't think I'll be getting back to that life pretty soon. (pssst, fyi, we're still good friends)

I can't explain to anyone what I am feeling right now because it's something beyond words. Right now I'm not looking into relationships... I'm looking for someone that can be on the same page as me, someone that I can be absolutely comfortable with, someone that just... Makes me, feel like me.

I needed a space. Here's my space. My open space. I wish someone is able to read my thoughts and feel what I feel, without judging, because I'm feeling so damn suffocated.

Do all these make any sense? I don't know. My thoughts are jumbled up everywhere...